FemDom Spanking Letters - Volume Twenty-Five
To give you some background, we have been into a fem/dom relationship for
more than 10 years. It all began one night during a sexual encounter with a
hand spanking in the final moments of orgasm. It was something I had wanted
to do to him for a long time, and it just happened. Since than it had become
a ritual of punishment and then sex. However more recently it has evolved into
just punishment/discipline, with sex only when I want it, or when I feel he
deserves it. I don't allow him to ejaculate unless he pleases me to the extreme,
and if he masturbates it must be done in front of me. We have added many other
things to our punishment ritual, such as butt plugs, queening/smothering, strap-ons,
and cross dressing. I love him in bikini panties when he is to be spanked.
We are now considering bringing into our lifestyle another fem/dom, who is
a personal friend of mine, to further train my sub/hubby while I watch or possible
join in. It's one of my fantasies, and I believe his as well, but than again
if I choose to do this he has no choice but to go along. Do you think this is
a good idea, could it possibly damage our marriage of 20 years by involving
someone in what is a very personal issue?
Your response will be appreciated, or any other suggestions you may have to
keep our lifestyle strong and healthy.
Thank you,
Hi Sylvia, Your question is a good one and something to give consider carefully. Bringing
another person into a close relationship is something that should never be taken
lightly. Our spanking scene seems to condone a great deal of multiple partner
play particularly in party situations. Though fun and stimulating this is pretty
much the same as swinging and ‘wife swapping’. It’s OK, but
it’s not for everyone. Couples really need to think twice before opening
this can of worms.
Right now, spanking and discipline is an intimate activity done between you
and your husband. You are the one in control and that seems to be working for
you. Sometimes it is stimulating to bring another ‘disciplinarian’
in to expand the play and add some anticipation/excitement. However, before
you do this make absolutely sure that you will be OK with another woman touching
your husband, having him over her knee and administering discipline. You engage
in other activities as well. Will you feel comfortable having him masturbate
in front of another woman, be smothered by her, etc.?
Will the other woman be respectful of you? By that I mean, will she follow
your lead or have her own agenda? If she strays from the path, how will you
communicate your discomfort without breaking the scene? Of course, you must
also discuss the same matter with your husband. How does he feel about being
disciplined by another woman? We assume he would be excited but at the same
time, he may feel uncomfortable. While discomfort, may be part of the punishment,
your husband is ultimately your husband and apart from the play, deserves your
respect. Remember, this is ultimately fantasy play and in reality you are both
equally functioning adults in an adult relationship.
You and your husband should take some time and communicate with each other
before taking this major step. When I do scenes with fem/dom couples, I talk
to them a great deal before the session. I am very respectful of the woman and
provide a safe environment to have that fantasy of bringing a spouse to ‘a
strict but impartial disciplinarian’. I don’t cross any lines and
the only contact we have is within the context of the spanking. In other words,
I’m not a friend and we don’t see each other socially. It tends
to work well. So well that I have a few wives who trust me enough to send their
husbands to me without their prescience.
Another alternative is to play with other fem/dom couples. That way everyone
is engaged in play. It’s a fairer and more comfortable exchange.
Glad you wrote. This is an important issue.
Dear Ms. Jacqueline:
I stumbled onto your wonderful, inspiring site and decided to email you for help
in improving on how I can further train my hubby to be even more responsive to
my wishes and desires.
Sylvia
Thank you for you letter. You are doing a wonderful job with your husband. The
spanking lifestyle seems to be suiting you both. Remember it is there for purposes
of pleasure, stimulation and to bring you both closer. It also seems to be working
to provide a harmonious, well-ordered lifestyle. I applaud you for doing such
a good, thorough job.
- Jacqueline
Dear Jacqueline,
I have written to you over the years. I desire a very thorough spanking from
you. I bet you are tired of hearing from me. I really want to do this but I
keep chickening out.
I have never received the really good licking that I desire. Am I crazy to
want to get such a beating? I fantasize lying across your lap, bare bottomed,
helpless and under your control, crying and begging for mercy. Why do I have
these desires?
- Dave
Dear Dave,
You are not crazy. Spanking is an emotionally based, deep-seated issue. Spanking
has a different meaning for all of us. Some of us were spanked when we were
younger; others of us weren’t. For many, spanking is a way to get the
attention, care and nurturing we lacked when growing up. For others, spanking
is a way to relieve stress and anxiety.
I believe that the spanking interest develops early on. Maybe we saw someone else get spanked or watched it on TV. For some reason the memory is stimulating and this stimulation gets stored in our subconscious mind only to be recalled in a sexual way at puberty. For others, we might have had some abuse issues in our childhood and sexualizing bad memories makes them tolerable. Also with adult spanking, we are more in control whereas we were not as children.
Either way, spanking is something that we enjoy. It's a safe 'hobby' and as long as you enact the fantasies with a safe, sane consenting adult, there's no harm done.
You have been talking about this for some time now. I think it’s time to take action. Spanking is something that has been with you for some time now and you owe it to yourself to take the plunge and experience the real thing. Spanking is so important that recently I have seen many soldiers who were about to be deployed to Iraq as well as a few others diagnosed with some life challenging illnesses. Each of these people realized that spanking was an experience they wanted to have while they still had the chance.
I expect to have you over my knee soon, young man! Maybe the next two letters
will put your mind at ease.
- Jacqueline
Jacqueline,
That was awesome! The evening was more than I ever imagined it would be. From
the moment I walked through your door, you made me feel relaxed and very comfortable.
As you know I had never done any role-play so I was very nervous about that.
Your lead gave me confidence and I was really enjoying them later in the evening.
Your spanking abilities are far superior to anyone that I have experienced. You really seemed to enjoy yourself and that made me happy. My sessions with local mistresses in the past have been somewhat disappointing. All though I enjoyed my time with each of them, my spankings were always just a short prelude to their favorite pleasures. Being with you, spankings were always the focus and that is what I enjoy, that is what I have been seeking.
Your vast assortment of implements was amazing and your expert use of them
astounding. I think about you every time I sit down. :-) I think the best part
for me was the time and care you took to find out about me. You crafted our
evening so perfectly that I felt like I was playing with a long time friend
and not once during the whole evening did I sense that you were just going through
the motions. You really made me feel special. I really hope that you enjoyed
our evening half as much as I did? I would very much like to jump on a plane
again for another of many special evenings with you. Thanks again.
- Charles
Hi Charles,
Thank you so, so much for your letter. It made my day. Thank you! It was especially
important to me for you to have a good, positive experience. I'm so happy I
did.
You're right. I did enjoy myself immensely. I truly love spanking and it's always a pleasure to play with a like-minded person. You did seem more relaxed with the role-playing as the night went on. I like it because it provides a reason for the spankings, some verbiage to go along with it and I think it's fun. Of course, if you don't like it, I never would force it on you.
Anyway, I sure hope you do jump on a plane again. Take advantage of those miles!
Hope you have a wonderful week ahead and stay in touch.
- Jacqueline
Hi Jacqueline,
Everything exceeded my expectations. Really, it was just fantastic. I especially
enjoyed the babysitter scenario. It was hot, fun...in fact; it could be fun
to expand that one day - just the babysitter and Chris at different stages.
In this way, she can be a little different each time and use different, more
appropriate implements. Might be fun.
My bottom was sore most of the day yesterday. But perhaps there wasn’t
enough of a reminder as I "enjoyed" myself at the memory of our time
together. For some reason, I don't remember asking - or you giving - me permission
to do that. Oh well, perhaps it's something we can address at a later
time.
Being secured to the spanking bench was also a highlight - I really haven't been that much into bondage, but the being "helpless" and at the mercy of what was coming to me was very exciting and in a way - liberating. I was able to just enjoy the sensations.
I look forward to seeing you again. In fact, my only regret is that my bottom is not right now under your hand.
With much affection and appreciation,
- Chris
Chris,
I guess I got ‘inspired’ to make you feel more vulnerable. Bondage
isn’t something I ordinarily do but it seemed appropriate at the time.
I’m so glad you enjoyed yourself. So did I. Thank you for a wonderful
evening.
- Jacqueline
Jacqueline,
Ed was checking your site to see if letters were back up and, yay, they were...and
appear to have been for a while. He is concomitantly pleased and embarrassed
to have his spankings discussed there...thanks for including our correspondence.
It is so much fun to read the letters and I LOVE the idea of a tag-team on Ed. He, shall we note, wasn't as thrilled! Let's stay in touch.
Did I share (or perhaps I read it from you!) how he's required to wear panties two sizes too small on Friday when he's going to be spanked in the evening? All day his panties (nylon, of course) are tight on his boy parts and when he comes home and lowers his trousers and then his panties, the bikini has left such a nice spanking target, it's almost no challenge at all to get the full bottom AND his sit spot.
He tells me the relief after having his boy parts "trapped" is almost worth the pain in his bottom....almost! It's a pretty cute sight to see him in the corner after the spanking, the panty line still visible through the red bottom. He gets to wear his regular panties after his corner time.
Well, hugs to you. Great job on the site, we love it.
- Jennifer
Jennifer,
Thank you!!!! I guess it's good for him to be a bit embarrassed, huh! I think
you should keep it up. Might make him behave a little better!
It's always nice to hear from you and let's definitely stay in touch. Where
do you guys live again?
Great idea about the small size panties. I like that one.
I have to admit I must have a panty fetish myself as I find it truly erotic
to spank on panties. There’s something about the fabric hugging the derriere
that really turns me on. I am partial to really soft cotton. The fabric feels
really good against my hand (remember I give long hand spankings so the material
is important to me)
Tight fitting panty hose is another thing to try. He can wear those to work
as well. The hose gives another sensation to the spanking as well.
Thank you for staying in touch and I think it may be time for us to get together
and discipline Ed together. As I mentioned in my first letter of this section,
rest assured that you are the one who will set the limits for Ed. I am there
to assist you but I am respectful of the fact that you are his wife and his
boss.
- Jacqueline
Jacqueline,
Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed "Long Hard Paddlings". It certainly
delivered on its promises. I especially liked the innocent enjoyment Jessica
showed in applying the paddle, and Omega's excellent technique.
My only regret was that we didn't get to see you administering some swats yourself - and now that PF has released "The Principal's Office", this void has been filled (I just ordered a copy). I can hardly wait to see you give Rosetta swats!
Best,
Nick
Thanks, Nick. Glad you enjoyed!
- Jacqueline
Thank
you all for your letters. Keep them coming and feel free to reference and refer
to any letter posted.
- Jacqueline Omerta