Hi Jacqueline,
Glad to see you are back. I see that new video with Sera and she looks like what I would imagine in my spanking fantasy. I plan on getting that video.

Anyways, my wife has paddled me now on a couple occasions and said she enjoyed it. She talks about it a lot so I am sensing she has some desire for doing it. Although it is really fun to talk a lot about it and she says stuff like "do you need me to whip your ass" or "I will be up to redden your butt" or "you need your butt reddened so you cannot sit at work tomorrow", she doesn't often follow thru.

Is there something I can be doing to get her to follow thru on these words? It is great that she is sharing this turn on. I think deep down she enjoys it (I can smell her being turned on when talking about it) but is worried to 100% follow thru? Am I missing something? I overall am very sensitive to her needs and she would tell you I am not a selfish person.

Thanks.
- Tim

HI Tim,
Nice to hear from you. Thank you for your sweet email. I think it's great that your wife is participating. This is something new for her so I have great admiration for any wife of a spanko who is at least willing to give it a try.

The next time she threatens you, try ‘bratting’ her. Bend over and stick out your bottom. I bet you anything she’ll give you a whack. If she does, you might just ask for a spanking then and there. Maybe she just needs some coaxing.

If your behavior doesn’t get the job done, then it’s time to talk. Tell her how much you enjoy the times she spanks you. Be open about your needs. Also, be sure and ask her if there is anything you can do for her. She might have some sexual fantasies of her own that she would like to explore.

I am so glad to know that more and more wives are getting the message that discipline is empowering. The fact that it’s an adult erotic activity is the real bonus. Spanking clears the air, changes attitudes and then leads to fun bedroom activity in the context of a relationship. Who could ask for more?

The main thing is communication. I truly believe in communication. I have been working with couples a lot lately. Maybe you could bring her in for a session and I will teach her a little more.

Dear Jacqueline,
I am 49 years old and I will be turning 50 next month. I am blessed with a wonderful wife and family. I have been successful in my career and have accomplished almost everything I have set out to do. One thing is missing. Spanking is my secret desire. I think about being spanked, I read spanking stories and make up many of my own scenarios in my head. Still, I am too shy to share them with anyone.

I have thought about telling my wife but I think she wouldn’t get it. Besides, I don’t want her to ‘piss on my parade’ if you know what I mean. I would feel just awful if she put me down. Spanking is purely a masturbatory fantasy but still now that my 50th birthday is approaching, I feel that I want to finally experience a real spanking. Maybe this would be a birthday present for myself.

I have thought about making contacts on line. However, I am not looking for any kind of real relationship with someone. I just want to experience and play out some of my spanking scenarios.

Do you ever see old guys who have never been spanked? How would you like to make my 50th birthday something special?

- James

Dear James,
I can’t think of a better way to start the second year of your life. Believe it or not, I have helped many, many people celebrate their birthdays (after all spankings and birthdays go together) and many of these birthdays were 50 or above. You are definitely not alone. Many of us keep our sexual fantasy buried until we are out a point in our life when we feel compelled to act. I think 50 is a perfect age to get spanked. Remember, you are never too old to lie over my knee.

Seeing a professional spanker, like me, is also your best bet. It's a cleaner, safer transaction in that there are no other expectations other than to concentrate on spanking and things associated with it. That doesn't mean there can't be conversation and warm feelings towards each other. However, it's on a professional basis. Very much like going to a therapist. With a therapist, there's a great deal of intimacy and definitely deep conversations but what is said in the room stays in the room. This is similar to having a spanking session with me.

I have people I see on a regular basis whom I am very fond of but I respect their privacy, never utter their name and of course would never contact them without permission. If you pursue someone you meet on-line in a chat room, you run the same risks as having an affair. She may seem fine at first but she may cross boundaries and endanger your family life.

I am safe, sane and discrete. I see many famous people and I provide a totally confidential, and positive spanking experience. I have my own playroom in a discrete private setting. My room is not dungeon oriented. It looks like a living room with comfortable couch, chaise lounge and a straight-backed chair – all designed for spanking. I have every implement imaginable and a good sense of being able to re-create all those spanking fantasies. Plus, I love spanking. It was my secret desire for years. I never thought I would act on it either but here I am!

Dear Jacqueline,
I wanted to let you know that I appreciate your caring, compassion, understanding, sense of humor, as well as your ability to give so thoughtfully and creatively to a meaningful experience. I had a fun evening, accomplishing most everything that I wanted to.

Meeting you, talking with you, learning from you has been a blessing. It provided me with what I so desperately needed to confirm for years. " I really wasn't alone." "There were other people who had similar struggles." You are someone I felt comfortable talking to who was intelligent, caring, and I could depend on for clean clear answers.

I truly enjoyed going over your knee. My bottom is still a little red, and I do think of you whenever I sit down. I hope that you enjoyed spanking my naughty little bottom too - it sure felt like you did. Jacqueline, you did an absolutely wonderful and thoughtful job. I could not have expected more from you. You were thoughtful and kind beyond belief. Like I told you the next day, you are such a loving, caring person. You are truly remarkable and it was an honor to meet you.
- N. S.

Ms. Omerta,
I wanted to thank you, as a female disciplinarian, for your sections on "implements" and "positions." Your brief description on the differences in paddles, for example, will help me with Ed's Christmas present. I wasn't aware there was so much difference in the pain element of the leather vs. wooden paddles. I thought it was a "size matters" issue! We'll be adding a leather paddle to my arsenal for the new year. I saw one, which leaves the impression of a heart, which I thought was cute. I assume the punishment level is the same with the cute ones as the others.... though the ones with metal in them look almost lethal!

As to the "positions," I appreciate your comment about the naughty man's posture when preparing to receive his spanking. I liked your description about how he must present his bottom when using the chair method. It's one I plan on using tonight for his spanking. I almost always start his spanking with his panties up, because making him lower them is something he's embarrassed to do (so I make sure he has to do it while facing me, of course), but tonight, I think I'll have him lower them AND present himself. The "present yourself" posture MIGHT carry over to his time in the corner, we'll see.

Do you ever use punishment lines for correction? Just curious...Ed occasionally has to write sentences after his spanking and corner time, keeping them in a logbook. Just wondering.

Thanks so much for your help to those of us who hear the calling!
Hugs,
- Jennifer

Hi Jennifer,
Ed is a lucky man to have such a caring disciplinarian such as you. There is a huge difference between wood, sintra and leather paddles. Wooden paddles are sturdier, more traditional and beautiful designed but they are definitely more punishing. Since they can cause bruising if used full force, save them when you really want to drive the lesson home.

Speaking of making an impact, I do use punishment lines and corner time. Both techniques reinforce the reason for discipline. Prolonging the punishment is a highly effective way to make your man behave.

Dear Ms. Jacqueline,
I know that in discipline of our husbands there needs to be a safe word to stop if thing begin to get out of hand. The problem is that my naughty little colt does not use his safe word and then I end up literally beating his tail silly. The other day I beat his tail until he had a lump which made one side of his butt about an inch taller when he bent over. The only response to that severe beating was a small whimper when he was hit and plenty of tears but no safe word.

Why doesn't he say anything, to stop me? I don't want to get so carried away that he ends up in the emergency room. Should I stop spanking/disciplining him?
- Ashley

As the spanker, you need to be extremely aware of your spankee. Notice his bottom and see how it’s looking. Sometimes the spankee gets lost in ‘sub space’ and feels unable to use a safe word while caught up in the scene. Your job is to make sure he feels the spanking but not brutalize or harm.

This is not a game of who can dish out and take it the hardest. Adult spanking is an erotic activity underneath the guise of ‘punishment’. Both parties need to be enjoying and involved in the experience. And the experience should never ever be about causing physical harm. That is definitely unacceptable.

I’m glad you are open to spanking even though this seems to be more of your husband’s desire than your own. So, my suggestion is to keep spanking but really communicate and learn the difference between stinging someone’s bottom and hurting them. You might want to get a few swats of your own so you understand what it feels like. Also practice using some of the implements on a pillow so you swing properly without wrapping around the hip.

Dear Jacqueline,
I found your website about six months ago after typing in ‘how to motivate you husband’ Truthfully, I was a little surprised by the thrust of the site: spanking your husband. At the time I was a frustrated by my husband’s lack of consistency and follow through. Jack was always a very bright and talented man, but lacked that special something to follow through on his plans and push himself. I had a number of different tactics and nothing seemed to work. Then I found your site, read ‘How to Spank Your Man’ and was puzzled by the notion that this may be, or could be the answer. I decided it was worth a try.

Friday nights are when Jack and I usually have sex once the kids are in bed. This time I told Jack we were going out to dinner. Afterwards I insisted on driving and took him to a local motel. After checking into our room, Jack had already undressed to his briefs and was expecting a blowjob. That was not what I had planned. From my purse I took out the list of eight items that Jack needed to work on and presented it to him. He was quite astonished at my forward approach. I told him that I was serious and planned to impress upon him just how serious I was.

I pulled out the chair from the desk and positioned my self on it and motioned him over. I then told him, “Bend over my knees”. Well, was he ever surprised! I did not relent and took hold of his hand and bent him over my knees. I then told him that what I was about to do was for his own good; that I loved him and wanted him to do well, and that he could expect this regularly. I brought down a firm hand across his buttocks onto his briefs. He bounced up a bit. I then brought another, and another, and another until I had given him thirty or forty swats. I could feel the heat coming off of his buttocks through his briefs and, as you said, felt his was sufficiently warmed up for a bare bottom spanking.

I then took hold of his underpants and pushed them down to his ankles. There, right in front of me was my husband’s now quite pink buttocks. At this point I again went over the eight items with him and confirmed what I expected from him. I brought my hand firmly down onto his bare buttocks. He yelped a bit, but I persisted. Alternating between each cheek I delivered at least one hundred swats across his buttocks over the next fifteen minutes, pausing periodically to remind him of the eight items. By the time I was through with him his bottom was beet red! Almost flaming and I could tell that he would remember this. I finished off by rubbing lotion over his now very hot bottom and reminded him again of the eight items.

Now it was my turn. I stripped, positioned myself on the bed and instructed him on just how I wanted to be pleasured orally to orgasm. This had to be one of my most intense orgasms ever.

I am really happy about my new routine with Jack. I will write again and let you know of our progress.
- Mary

Hi Mary,

Hello Jacqueline,
My name is Mike and I live on the east coast just outside of Washington DC. I have been spanked by a couple of female coworkers at places I have worked. One place was from a little lady who I worked in a supermarket. She had me get bottomless for the spanking. She had me face her, and in doing so I had an erection, which I tried to hide. She smacked my butt and told me to move my hands so she could see it. She said I must enjoy being spanked because of the erection I told her I didn’t. She said she would take care of the erection after my hand spanking. She did that with a feather duster to my erection. It was just as strong punishment as her hand spanking.

I got many more spankings from her. Spankings and feather ticklings while being made to clean her home, do dishes and fix lunch for her and one of her friends. Then they both punished me with hand spankings and ticklings at the same time while standing. I guess my question to you is what you do you do to a naked male who gets an erection while he is naked and spanked by you?
- Mike

Hi Mike,
Boy oh boy, you sure scored at the grocery store. I always heard it was ‘meet market’ but never heard of a spanking mart. Good for you. Your lady sounds like she is quite a find.

I personally don’t mind erections. They let me know that someone is excited about going over my knee. Usually the erection calms down after the first flurry of spanks since the focus is now on the buttock region.

Ms. Omerta,
I was set to go on a 10+ mile ride this morning and my one neighbor was outside and complimented me on my cycling outfit and how 'fine' it looked on me. I mentioned your comment about ‘spankable shorts’ and she giggled, She thought the shorts I had on were about the 'best-fitting' ones she’d seen. She told me to stop by when I got back, so she could test out your comment. We laughed, I agreed and off I went.

So, when I got back - I put in just under 20 miles - she had me come in. While I could still feel the 'burn' in my muscles from the ride, she promptly set me on her lap, put me over her knee and gave me a good healthy bare hand spanking of my still-clad hiney. I felt the pain and told her so. She then had me take my shorts off, and spanked my tiny bare hiney, only adding to the pain. Once she finished, she held me in place for a while longer, giving me an occasional swat with a ruler- for good measure. She warned that she might use that the next time.

So, your comment was certainly one for the books! She giggled and said - 'Tell Miss Omerta 'Thank You' and that she would like any further advice on how to "tame" me.

Love Ya,
- David

Hi David,
Seems like I am starting a trend. More and more women are becoming interested in the fun of spanking. I liked your friend’s playful way. I think you both had a good time and that is what is ultimately important.

As I have said before, I love teaching women ‘new tricks’. I urge all you guys to bring your women to see me for a session. Come together and have the ultimate time.

Dear Jacqueline,
Thank you for your response. I worry sometimes that I am a little off in my thinking.

I heard a tape recording today made by a female sex therapist that said a man must know weather he wants to be #1. Respected by a woman or #2. Be cherished by a woman, but that he can't be both. I feel like I would like to be both. She said a real man would be the type to nurture, comfort, protect and provide for his woman. She said an addict/co-Dependant man is one who needs to be nurtured and cherished by his woman like a relationship with a mother. What are your thoughts about men who need to be whipped and mothered by a woman?

Can a real woman have any respect for such a man as one who needs to be spanked and mothered like me? I appreciate your comments and your care!
- Robbie

Robbie,
I think the letters above will attest that real women indeed like to spank and keep their men in line. Is it mothering or nurturing? Maybe it’s both but in the long run it’s loving. Spanking is an activity to be enjoyed between two consenting adults. It’s healthy, fun and erotic.

Jacqueline,
Well, the men I’m with have very easily taken me. I want to be a little more....self-empowering ya know? I want to be the one to call the shots for once....Gosh, it's hard to put into words, but I'd like to get some advice from someone who sort of knows how to help women discover their more aggressive-take-charge side.
- Seiyoku

Seiyoku,
Yes, spanking and topping can be an empowering experience. It enhances self –esteem to ‘try on’ another role. New behaviors often feel different but the more we behave differently; the more we will eventually feel differently.

Give yourself permission to state what you want in the bedroom. Let your needs be met. Give your man a swat on his butt and tell him to ‘get to work!”. This attitude may seem foreign but in time you will feel more natural taking charge.

It’s a new world. As you can see from the letter above, many men want to let go and have their women take control.

Jacqueline,
Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed "Long Hard Paddlings". It certainly delivered on its promises. I especially liked the innocent enjoyment Jessica showed in applying the paddle, and Omega's excellent technique.

My only regret was that we didn't get to see you administering some swats yourself but now that PF has released "The Principal's Office", this void has been filled (I just ordered a copy). I can hardly wait to see you give Rosetta swats!
- Nick

Thank you all for your letters. Keep them coming and feel free to reference and refer to any letter posted.
- Jacqueline Omerta