Dear Jacqueline,
I'm writing from France. I'm a married man aged 35, well educated and successful in business and also greatly interested in spanking. I would like advice from you who appear to me as one of the best specialist of spanking I can find in the world.

I know there are some spanking enthusiasts in our country, but it seems that only California hosts so gifted and experienced people in spanking. I've seen a few our your videos and I was really impressed by them, especially the "spanked to tears" video from Pacific Force. I was especially interested into the real psychology you put into the scene and the fact that the spankings seem very real (people are actually punished for some reason, it' doesn't like only as a play).

This leads me to believe that you could understand my needs and maybe help me to find an answer, hoping this doesn't disturb or bore you in any way. I would be very, very pleased if you could give me even a brief answer.

My big problem in life is that my wife doesn't seem to be interested in spanking. I've managed to spank her a few times, but never as hard as I would have loved and she is not open to play a scene or to submit to punishment spanking. Due to my inexperience, I dare not try the hard punishment spanking being afraid of falling into an abuse by crossing her limits and hurting her taste.

She also accepted reluctantly to give me a spanking but again it wasn't hard and long enough, and without the right psychological context that make the thrill and satisfy the need. I actually feel a real need to give a sound spanking to a lady who loves it and to get a hard one from a strict and beautiful mistress.

My preferred fantasies are being summoned with a young lady by a mature chief office executive for a hard over the knee spanking and over the desk paddling and dose of the martinet (the lady first and myself after), and being a teacher at home who spanks a young student who doesn't work hard enough and then spanks her mother for not punishing enough the lazy girl.

But I face four main problems to fulfill my spanking desire:
1) I think I won't manage to convince my wife unless I've a few experience before. And I feel guilty for this, as even if there should be no sex in those experience it could be felt by my wife and myself as a breech in our marriage. I'm afraid of my feelings. Do I mislead myself?

2) I'm afraid to spank too hard and clumsily, and of course due to this to frustrate a would be spankee from what she actually wants. How can I be tough how to act?

3) I'm afraid that I'm actualy not able to whistand a long and severe spanking and of being disapointed or shocked by the experience. How could I know my limits?

4) I'm afraid to meet people through the web who could be either be inexperienced or uncaring and turning this into a bad experience. How can I find experienced people who could initiate me properly?

Obviously I need to talk about my spanking needs with somebody who is both competent and comprehensive. Please Jacqueline, could you give me some help and advice?

- A young man from France who is also one of your fans.

Hi Young Man From France,
First of all I am never disturbed or too bored to answer a real, sincere email like yours. I really understand what you are talking about. You have a passion for spanking and want to share it with a like-minded person. Believe me, you are not alone in your desires.

Since you are married, I do not advocate answering ads. You may or may not meet someone but that would be unfair to the person you meet as well as your wife. Spanking is an intimate activity with or without the sex. It leads to deep emotional feelings and charged reactions.

However, spanking is a need that you can not ignore. It's not fair for you to let it just fester inside with no fulfillment. That's where a professional can come into play. A good professional can help you explore your spanking desires in a safe environment. She can help you to understand how deep you want to go with it. She will be discrete and she will not require that you develop any real kind of relationship with her (other than the time you are with her in session). It's very similar to a therapist and client relationship. A closeness develops but the boundaries are respected by both parties. The atmosphere and the relationship is safe and sane. No craziness or complications that you could run into when you answer an ad from a complete stranger online.

Being with a pro, is a clean, safe transaction. She will not interfere with your relationship but she will help you fulfill something that is important to you.

And, you also make a very good point. Since your wife is interested in exploring spanking with you, after a few sessions with a pro, you will be more experienced and able to guide her a little better. You will have the confidence to talk more clearly and explain your desires. You will have knowledge about your own pain tolerence level and can be more definitive with her about how hard you like to be spanked, what implements you like, etc.

Since you like to switch, you should explore that too. Many pros into spanking will switch with you since almost everyone who's into spanking enjoys it both ways. Or, she may have an assistant who is switchable. When you spank, you can learn the proper way to spank. That's important because the better the spanker you are; the more likely your wife will be to let you spank her.

I really wish you lived here in the states. I know I could really help you and ultimately enable you to reach your goal which would be to have your wife get involved. If you were here, I would have you come and do a session or two with me. We would enact the role plays you enjoy. We would then make plans to have your wife come and join us. Although, it's always easier to play with someone who is born with the spanking gene, it's not impossible to get a good, caring partner involved with spanking. It's all in the approach.

People travel all over the world to come and see me. Los Angeles is beautiful this time of year. Maybe it's time to take a trip abroad for a spanking good time!!!

Thanks for getting in touch.
- Jacqueline

Specific Answers to your Questions:
1) I think I won't manage to convince my wife unless I've a few experience before. And I feel guilty for this, as even if there should be no sex in those experience it could be felt by my wife and myself as a breech in our marriage. I'm afraid of my feelings. Do I mislead myself? See a professional. It's like seeing a psychologist

2) I'm afraid to spank too hard and clumsily, and of course due to this to frustrate a would be spankee from what she actually wants. How can I be tough how to act? A good professional will teach you how. She will either switch herself or you can do a session where she's there with a submissive lady or lady who switches.

3) I'm afraid that I'm actualy not able to whistand a long and severe spanking. How could I know my limits? A good professional will be accepting of who you are. She should have no other agenda other than to make you feel comfortable and accept you unconditionally.

4) I'm afraid to meet people through the web who could be either inexperienced or uncaring and turning this into a bad experience. How can I find experienced people who could initiate me properly? You're right to be worried about this. Meeting people on-line can be extremely risky. It's not recommended for someone in a commited relationship. You might meet a lady into spanking but she may also be a needy person and she may not respect your privacy. A person like that could ultimately really mess up your relationship with your wife. Not recommended. Not worth the risk.

I LOVED everything you planned Friday night, AND the things not planned. Being spanked across your knees in panties while bound and gagged was truly exciting. I also enjoyed being spanked while being gagged and tied down to your spanking bench, again wearing panties. I'm glad that turns you on because it really adds to the excitement of the session.I thought the mirror was a really good idea too.

I loved it when you tied me to the chair and gagged me in front of the mirror, then did all the things you did. Perhaps at the next session, you could arrange to have Lucille (or whoever you think would best fit in) there; you could put me in the chair the same way and have me watch while you spank Lucy, then tell me I'm next. You could then both spank me in panties, etc. I'm sure we could come up with some really good scenarios. I love the sessions with just the two of us, but I think it would be interesting to try a "two on one" session, so to speak.

Thanks again for everything. I look forward to seeing you soon.
- Monty

Dear Monty,
Yes, I had fun too. I must confess panty spankings are my absolute favorite. I love the feel of cotton or silk against my skin. It's so much fun to spank and then rub that good feeling material. I know it also feels good to be spanked in the panties too. Though bare-bottom is of course traditional and necessary when applying a real spanking, there's something I find extremely sexy about panty spankings.

Contrary to popular folklore, a little pair of panties never takes away from the sting. It just adds to the erotic enjoyment of the pleasure of spanking.

BTW, you looked really cute in the panties and your gag!
- Jacqueline